The Perfect Moms Society
Updated: Sep 18, 2020
During this COVID-induced summer, I found myself branching out to some of the other moms whose son's were the same age and went to the same summer camp. We figured that since our kids hung out throughout the entire week, then perhaps we should keep their social circle contained. Thus in a pandemic, we started to hang out more. And by 'hang out' I mean, distanced outdoor play dates and drive-by encounters in the summer camp parking lot drop off.
As the fall and the start of school approached, it was announced that they would be attending their Kindergarten classes, full-time and on campus. A flurry of emails and paperwork followed. We started to purchase the uniforms that we had been putting off getting, getting in the needed doctor visits for physicals, and worked on getting all of the things that were required to begin.
A text chain grew of questions and comments. Within those comment bubbles, a space of confidants formed. It was a place to be vulnerable and simultaneously supportive. A few weeks before classes were set to begin, it became clear that we needed each other, quite a bit.
And so, one one of my late night walks, I decided to give our little group a name. One that balanced how life as a mom played out: moments of sadness or of laughter, feelings of love or frustration. It would be a name that would own the societal pressures that are placed on moms in this age of hyper social media curation.
And so, the Perfect Moms Society was formed.
I wrote up a little manifesto of what it meant to be a perfect mom. A lot of thoughts swirled through my head thinking about the societal pressures that moms face to live up to the persona that other moms are sharing throughout the social media sphere. Are they really perfect or is it a crafted facade? In these times, can a mom simply be a mom? Free of judgement, ridicule or standards? Can the band of moms throughout our cultural landscape merely accept that the mom profession is difficult and we should all be thankful that we are simply making it through the day, to thrive in our own way?
As I thought further, I realized that we are all indeed perfect but not in the way that our culture has imposed upon us. We are not perfect because of magical birthday parties, Pinterest lunches or whimsical family photos. Each mom is perfect because she was made that way, the perfect person for her child.
It may be hard to accept, but it is important for every mom to hear this:
God knew that you, and only you, have the exact qualities your children need in a mother. You are perfect for them. No one else can mother them like you can, it will take work, tears, love and patience; but you are the only one created to accomplish it.
Want to start your own Perfect Moms Society?
It's simple. To begin, you need three school moms. That's it, three. You count as one, and you add two more. The whole point here is to start with moms that you feel comfortable with. Overtime you can add more, or leave it be at three. You have the freedom to have this group be exactly what you need.
Who should these moms be?
You should begin by asking moms who are classmates of your little one. It doesn't matter if you start at Kindergarten or you are deciding to launch one now that you have a third-grader.
Why should I select moms from the school that my children go to?
Being a mom of a school-aged child is tough. There are many expectations, so many emails and the demands of homework, lunch, fights, conferences, PTA meetings. Every mom should have a few mom friends to help her though. The easiest way to do this is to have moms that you can go to when you are tired of emailing your child's teacher for the third time in one evening.
"For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them." | Ephesians 2:10
How do we make ourselves official?
That's easy. In all of my years of sorority education there is one thing that makes any thing official. T-shirts.
Plan an event. One event is all you need to get going.
Write down some expectations of membership, your purpose.
And, with that. You have your official Perfect Moms Society. The next post will detail the official touches that made our first gathering memorable and good enough to become an annual tradition.